I will never get that dance
on my wedding day
The words in my head
I still hear you say
When the Jager ceases
to ease the pain
This circular logic slowly
drives me insane

What were you thinking?
I guess we will never know
We will be alright but we
are not better off without you
Something’s you always remember
Something’s you just never forget

Dad, you know he has changed
his voice is soft with confusion
Your sister Ann asks you about Bill
every time she sits by your grave
Allie and Kayla have tea parties
and you are there in spirit
Ryan and Nicky keep wrestling
as you watch for the first time

What were you thinking?
I guess we will never know
We will be alright but we
are not better off without you
Something’s you always remember
Something’s you just never forget

The pain John never shows it
that is a tribute to the Marines
Dave acts a lot more like Dad
rarely misses a chance to visit you
As for Her she is gone too…
the last one you will ever approve
I can only guess for the ones to follow
what exactly your thoughts are.

What were you thinking?
I guess we will never know
We will be alright but we
are not better off without you
Something’s you always remember
Something’s you just never forget

Sometimes I just talk for hours
still thinking you are here listening
Like the days you rambled on
and I sat there silently and smiled
What were you thinking that day?
it’s a question I have never asked
We are not better off without you
that simple fact I wish you knew

I will always
Remember …
I will never
Forget.

Shattered stained glass
falling to the ground
Stories of a martyr
broken by a stone
Red tinted sights
in dead silence
Lost is the trust
failing is the faith
Meaningless words
senseless thoughts
Forsaking it all
as it is preached

Tip toeing on gutters
Staring down to bliss
Rain hitting my cheek
Thunder lightly growls
Swaying with each push
Of the wind gusts
Tripping on the thoughts
As the lightning flashes
Wage war with the visions
Fought with a bitter fist
Clenched until bleeding
Fighting cold apparitions
Who simply whisper
“not this way”
And cause decay

Figments of perception
Swindling all of reality
Echoes of the ancient
Ringing through it all
Fading fingerprints cover
Images in the mirrors
Keeping all the secrets
Between themselves
Within each reflection
Grows reckless deceit
Spiteful whispers creep
Into innocent thoughts

Bloody knuckles
leaving flesh on
the brick wall

Fist still clenched
as blood drops
slowly start to fall

Faces of the past
quickly flash and
fade with tears

Each swing brings
more to light in
this endless fight

Hours upon hours
ending up exhausted
on both knees

The past still standing
in defiance and you
are left more scarred

Times like these no one will believe this is me

my heart is wide open and I just cannot stop

myself from these actions and feelings

So please take me away form here for clarity

everything is tumbling down all around me

like the frail sandcastles in the tidal waves

Nothing stands nothing lives as I over comitt

and send myself to places of longing regret

just another unavoidable cripling vortex

As I see myself failing over and over again

the pattern becomes a kaledscope of colors

blinking to shapes and bluring all to turn black

Nothing but storm clouds in my dusty horizon

but the rain is never coming and the air is dry

as this sandstorm chokes the air from my lungs

Shadows dancing all around me barely there

as things seem so far from what is reality

all the while the simple truth just walks away…

Sleeping girl has
a ladder that
reached the sky

And waits for
night to climb
to the stars

Just to look
down and see
all the sights

Glad to know
in the end
everything is alright

Picking up stardust
in jars as
it floats by

While pretending to
be Tinkerbelle and
live the dream

Her thoughts wander
always bouncing around
until day breaks

Dreaming beauty wakes
to the dawn that is
slowly creeping in

Eyes are barely open
but her mind
is still calm

With the fragments
of her fantasy
constantly replayed

She whispers calmly into my ear
just to eavesdrop on my thoughts
but her arms are holding me tight
and all my troubles are at ease

She runs her fingers in my hair
to gain the passion from my stare
but her smile catches my eye
and with it erases all my fears

She came like a thief in the night
and stole the fire from my kiss
but her perfume is on my pillow
which makes me sleep soundly

One shattered mirror
Black eyeliner running down
Her warm rosy cheeks

Taking Back Sunday
Blaring out of her speakers
Drowns out the clamor

Sad whimpers slide out
As her confusion sets in
Feeling all her scars

Box cutter and pills
Three vicodin down so far
Caressing the blade

Razor slowly cuts
Blood drips then begins to flow
Joining tears in pools

Singing the lines to
“You’re So Last Summer” fading
As she slowly drains

Choking on her words
“Something you will be missing”
Lights fade to darkness

Parents shattered cold
Left to question and wonder
All about it now

Her friends left unphased
Somber in the thought of it
Comfortably numb

Heads are shaking
As her coffin descends down
Towards the cold dirt

Final resting spot
No less cold or alone than
Where she was before

One day you will see the clear blue beyond the gray sky
And remember being small playing under the table and dreaming…
Talking to herself, there’s no one else who needs to know she is
Losing faith and you still don’t know what to do… sick of me
Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well
The world has turned and left me here just where I was before…
One more indecent accident I’d rather leave than suffer this
We told each other things wouldn’t be this way
No thought was put into this I always knew it would come to this
Stain my mind with make believe if it’s dark, she still shines
Oh make my days a breeze, and take away my self destruction
I’ve never heard such a haunting melody oh, it’s killing me
In a passionate kiss from my mouth to yours I like you
Why did you have to go and let it die… let it die
This way is a water slide away from me that takes you further…
Beautiful disaster flying down the street again I tried to keep up
Sometimes I find it’s better to be somebody else so much to say
Because I love you is not enough I am lost for words
Memories like fingerprints are slowly raising me, you wouldn’t recall
A stone has blocked my hourglass no progress made no time…
Compassion’s in my nature and tonight is our last stand